Monday, December 30, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of December 22, 2013

1. Holiday Gifting Can Be Vexing For Kids Of Divorce, The Washington Post
And if a child gets a long-wanted treasure, don’t put limits on it, “such as ‘I gave you this gift so you can only use it at my house.’ Children value peace over presents and they don’t care about which parent gives them the most or the biggest gifts,” he said.

2. Uncomfortable Truths about Family Breakdown, The National Review Online
As Schulz points out, that uncomfortable truth is not controversial among social scientists. It is affirmed by undoubted liberals such as Harvard’s David Ellwood and Christopher Jencks.

3. 7 Ways Your Father Affected Your Career, Forbes
Are you confident expressing your opinion, particularly when it’s different from those of your boss or peers? That may depend on whether your father encouraged you to express yourself growing up.

4. The 'Right School'? No, Parents Staying Together Is The Best Way To Help Children, The Guardian
Because the more stable a home life children have, the better they will be able to concentrate at school, the better behaved they will be in school, and the better grades they will have on leaving school.

5. Childless In Suburbia: N.J.'s Young Couples Putting Off Marriage, Kids, The Star-Ledger
The average age of a New Jersey mother when her first child is born has grown by nearly five years since 1970, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and now stands at more than 27 years old, among the highest in the nation.

6. Growing Old Together, WebMD
Invest time and energy into physical affection and having sex: Without this aspect of your relationship, you can still be quite emotionally close. However, your relationship will be more platonic than romantic.

7. Don't Forget About Dads, Family Studies
Dads are as important in the life of a child as moms, and moms will struggle to flourish without good dads at their sides.


For more, see here

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of December 15, 2013

1. Santo Produces Brilliant Fatherhood Tale For Coke (VIDEO), More About Advertising

2. Single-Parent Household Linked to Hypertension in Offspring, The New York Times
A new study of black men suggests that living with both parents in childhood reduces the risk for high blood pressure in adulthood.

3. Sons of Divorce, School Shooters, The National Review Online
Boys, then, who did not grow up with an engaged, attentive, and firm father are more vulnerable to getting swept up in the Sturm und Drang of adolescence and young adulthood, and in the worst possible way.

4. Is Income Inequity Tied To Marriage Rates? (VIDEO), Fox News
"We're veering to intentional childbearing without being attached to marriage. . . The research is so clear that children benefit the most from a mother and a father in a married state raising them. . ."

5. Reducing Teen Childbearing Among Latinos, Child Trends
And, despite recent declines in teenage childbearing among all groups, estimates suggest that 28% of Hispanic females will have a birth by age 20, compared with 11% of white females and 24% of black females. Notably, the vast majority of these births are either unwanted or mistimed. - See more at: http://www.childtrends.org/reducing-teen-poverty-among-latinos/#sthash.nAjqL9jN.dpuf
And, despite recent declines in teenage childbearing among all groups, estimates suggest that 28% of Hispanic females will have a birth by age 20, compared with 11% of white females and 24% of black females. Notably, the vast majority of these births are either unwanted or mistimed. - See more at: http://www.childtrends.org/reducing-teen-poverty-among-latinos/#sthash.nAjqL9jN.dpuf
And, despite recent declines in teenage childbearing among all groups, estimates suggest that 28% of Hispanic females will have a birth by age 20, compared with 11% of white females and 24% of black females.

Reducing Teen Childbearing Among Latinos

g Teen Childbearing Among Latinos
g Teen Childbearing Among Latinos
In fact, poverty rates for families with children have risen during the recession, and are particularly high among Latinos. - See more at: http://www.childtrends.org/reducing-teen-poverty-among-latinos/#sthash.nAjqL9jN.dpuf
And, despite recent declines in teenage childbearing among all groups, estimates suggest that 28% of Hispanic females will have a birth by age 20, compared with 11% of white females and 24% of black females. Notably, the vast majority of these births are either unwanted or mistimed. - See more at: http://www.childtrends.org/reducing-teen-poverty-among-latinos/#sthash.nAjqL9jN.dpuf
6. Sex and Intimacy After the Baby Arrives, The New York Times
Now new research from the University of Michigan offers a much more nuanced view of relationship dynamics in the so-called fourth trimester — and delivers a few surprises.

7. Military Divorce Rate Ticks Downward, Marine Corps Times
The decline in divorce rates for both men and women may reflect the slowing operational tempo in recent years, with the mission in Iraq concluded and a drawdown in Afghanistan well underway.

For more, see here

Monday, December 16, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, December 8, 2013

1. Divorce 101: Change Proposed in Utah Divorce Class, The Salt Lake Tribune 
". . . I think the policy is the question: Do we want to take this course, which appears to be less effective than it could be, and put it in a place where it has a greater chance of success?"

2. Study: Long Distance Relationships Can Work, The Atlantic
[T]hose who felt more certainty in their relationships’ future had higher quality relationships. What’s more, greater distance apart actually predicted more intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in the relationship.

3. The Marriage Crisis, The University of Virginia Magazine
“Much of the rise in cohabitation as an alternative to marriage is actually an alternative to divorce. If you never make a commitment, you are never going to divorce.”
A study of more than 1,700 Black and Hispanic young adults found that the majority value education, believe in a higher power and support marriage. - See more at: http://blackpoliticsontheweb.com/2013/12/12/study-of-millenials-of-color-shows-surprising-results-on-education-spirituality-and-marriage-views/#sthash.XizODDgQ.dpuf
Study of Millenials of Color Shows Surprising Results on Education, Spirituality and Marriage Views - See more at: http://blackpoliticsontheweb.com/2013/12/12/study-of-millenials-of-color-shows-surprising-results-on-education-spirituality-and-marriage-views/#sthash.vdm1mSY9.dpuf
Study of Millenials of Color Shows Surprising Results on Education, Spirituality and Marriage Views - See more at: http://blackpoliticsontheweb.com/2013/12/12/study-of-millenials-of-color-shows-surprising-results-on-education-spirituality-and-marriage-views/#sthash.vdm1mSY9.dpuf
Study of Millenials of Color Shows Surprising Results on Education, Spirituality and Marriage Views - See more at: http://blackpoliticsontheweb.com/2013/12/12/study-of-millenials-of-color-shows-surprising-results-on-education-spirituality-and-marriage-views/#sthash.vdm1mSY9.dpuf
Study of Millenials of Color Shows Surprising Results on Education, Spirituality and Marriage Views - See more at: http://blackpoliticsontheweb.com/2013/12/12/study-of-millenials-of-color-shows-surprising-results-on-education-spirituality-and-marriage-views/#sthash.vdm1mSY9.dpuf

4. Study of Millenials of Color Shows Surprising Results on Education, Spirituality and Marriage Views, AFRO
[P]articipants included 830 Latino/Hispanic (48 percent); 797 African American/Black (46 percent) and 94 “Other” (4 percent). . . Urban Youth of Color (UYC) still have goals of marriage someday and believe that pregnancies should be planned.

5. Only Have Children If You Are Ready to Marry, Says High Court Judge, The Guardian
The Office for National Statistics found earlier this year that the proportion of children born to unmarried mothers in England and Wales was a record 47.5% in 2012, the Telegraph said, up from 25% in 1988.

6. The Unspoken Truth About Marriage And Kids, The Sydney Morning Herald
Using data from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children, Lixia Qu and Ruth Weston, from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, found young families with cohabiting parents were nearly three times more likely to break up than married families.

7. "For the Sake of the Kids - Relationships Education: The Problem, Policy, and Practice," The Marriage Foundation
The Marriage Foundation has highlighted the price that children pay for broken relationships and has been making the case for better access to high quality relationships education. 

For more, see here

Monday, December 9, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, December 1, 2013

1. A Call for a New Conversation on Marriage, Institute for American Values
The current question is: "Should gays marry?" The new question is: "Who among us, gay or straight, wants to strengthen marriage?"

2. Why Rate Your Marriage? A Numerical Score Can Help Couples Talk About Problems, The Wall Street Journal
Couples therapists and marriage researchers, who study why some marriages last while others crumble, believe spouses should score their marriage. 

3. About Three in Four Parents Living with Children are Married, Census Bureau Reports, US Census Bureau
Most children under 18 (64 percent) live with married parents.

4. Autumn Statement 2013: Marriage Tax Break 'Will Help Poorest Families’, The Telegraph
More than four million married couples will be given tax breaks worth up to £200 a year in an attempt to help some of the “poorest working families”.

5. Oklahoma’s Marriage Initiative Working To Lower Divorce Rate (VIDEO), NewsChannel4
Our mission is to provide free of charge marriage and relationship education services to both couples and individuals all along the life cycle to increase relationship competency.

6. Cohabiting Couples Will Account for Half of All Family Breakdown in 2013, Marriage Foundation
If you're living together as unmarried parents, you're four times more likely to split up than married parents. . . that's why this research finds that on fifth of couples who cohabit account for one half of all family breakdown. 

7. An Interview on Fatherhood, Work-Family Balance, and What Makes a Good Dad, Fathers, Work, and Family
The data shows that fathers today work as much as they ever did before in the workplace. However they’re spending three times as much time with their children as fathers a generation ago and twice as much time on housework

For more, see here

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, November 24, 2013

1. This Is the Age You’ll Get Married Based on Where You Live, TIME
The folks at Priceonomics have designed a handy map, using data pulled from the U.N., that shows the average age at which people get married in countries all over the world.

2. Marriage Drives Women To Drink, Study Says, CBSNews
Previous studies have consistently shown that married people drink less than single people, with the anti-drinking association stronger in married men than women.

3. The Links Between Education, Marriage and Parenting, PewResearchCenter
Among parents who live with a child under the age of 18, 89% of college graduates are married, compared with 64% of parents with less than a high school degree and 70% of those with just a high school degree.

4. Harvard Study: Love Can Buy You Money, FatherhoodChannel
Harvard study found men with the warmest relationships earned $141,000 more than others during their peak salary years.

5. The Slow Death of 'Traditional' Families in America, The Atlantic
Gay marriage laws have happily extended legal rights to same-sex couples, but over the last half century, a less auspicious family development has been the rise of single moms and dads and the decline of two-parent households, particularly among lower-income and less-educated families.

6. Less Marriage Means Less Homeownership, Forbes
At the same time, the ownership rare among married couples is 81 percent; among non-marrieds it is 51 percent.

7. The Changing American Family, New York Times
At the same time, the old-fashioned family plan of stably married parents residing with their children remains a source of considerable power in America — but one that is increasingly seen as out of reach to all but the educated elite.

For more, see here.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of November 17, 2013

1. Jobs Are Making Women Wait To Have Kids, But Not For the Reason You Think, TIME
[S]cientists found that the likelihood that women were moms by the age of 35 was reduced for every year the women spent picking up work on a temporary or casual basis.

2. The War on Poverty: What Went Wrong, The Brookings Institution
Worse, poor and poorly educated adults are much more likely to have nonmarital births than wealthier and better educated adults, creating another pathway for the intergenerational transmission of poverty.

3. Hook-up Apps Like Tinder Have Killed Romance On Campus, The Guardian
Recently GQ hailed Tinder as "the hottest dating app going". . . The tagline for Tinder is "find out who likes you in your area" and everything rests on the impression that your photo leaves.

4. Couple's Marriage Skits Go Viral On YouTube Channel, 'Modern Marriage Moments', Deseret News
"One of the goals is to show that even though we go through these moments, which everybody does, that there's still hope and that there's still a way to stay together and work it out," Brandon said.

5. New Spanish-Language Website on Relationship and Marriage Education for California Hispanics, The Sacramento Bee
"Of the nearly 30,000 participants in our RME classes over the past 12 months, 50% have been Spanish speakers," reports K. Jason Krafsky, HRC's director of communications and marketing.

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/11/20/5929004/new-spanish-language-website-on.html#storylink=cpy

6. Women's Marriage Optimism Doesn't Bode Well For Their Relationships, Study Find, The Huffington Post 
Having realistic expectations for your marriage is better than inflated optimism -- this according to a new study which claims wives who are highly optimistic about the strength of their relationship are more likely to be dissatisfied later on.  

7. The Forever Initiative: A Feasible Public Policy Agenda to Help Couples Form and Sustain Healthy Marriages and Relationships, The Heritage Foundation
He outlines an integrated set of feasible and affordable educational initiatives across the early life course, beginning in youth, continuing in early adulthood, during cohabitation, engagement, and through the early years of marriage, as well as for couples at the crossroads of divorce.

For more, see here.

Monday, November 18, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of November 10, 2013

1. Modern Love Is More About Algorithms Than 'Witchcraft', National Public Radio 
Fifty-nine percent of all Internet users say they believe online dating is a sensible way to meet people and make matches. That's up 15 points from 2005.

2. Norway's Mission Reposition: State Says Date Nights Key To Good Marriage, The Guardian
[M]arried men and women who have "couple time" at least weekly were 3.5 times more likely to report being very happy in their marriages than those who struggled to spend time together.

3. Marriage Makes Our Children Richer—Here's Why, The Atlantic
Young people from less-privileged homes are more likely to graduate from college and earn more if raised by two married parents.

4. It's A Marriage Market, The Star Online
In a society with a growing number of women seeking education, many urban women are postponing marriage to have careers, which has many parents going to extreme measures, such as the “marriage market” in People’s Square, to pair up their sons and daughters.

5. Is Social Media The New Wingman For Singles?, Pew Research Center
Almost a third (31%) of social media users have checked up on someone they used to date on sites like Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. This is true for almost half (48%) of those ages 18-29.

6. Friday Five by Bill Coffin, Institute for Family Studies
Five articles I recommend from around the web, including Women Can Have It All – But They’ll Likely Pay A Mommy Penalty For It, NBCNews.

7. Marriage Success May Depend on Wife’s Temperament, KTLA 5
[P]artnerships in which wives had greater control of their emotions, calmed down more quickly during an argument and used constructive communication were ultimately more satisfying and successful.

For more, see Do Wives Bear More Responsibility for Marital Happiness? at The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.

For more, see here.

Monday, November 4, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of October 27, 2013

1. Gallup: Marriage Could Be Great Economic Stimulus, US News & World Report
[M]arried Americans spend, on average, $102 a day. That's slightly more than the $98 spent by people in domestic partnerships and far higher than the $74 spent by divorced Americans, $67 by those who are single and never married, and $62 by widows and widowers.

2. Broken Homes, Broken Boys, Los Angeles Times
It just may be that boys growing up where fathers — and men more generally — appear superfluous confront an existential problem: Where do I fit in? Who needs me, anyway?

3. 'Deseret News Sunday Edition' Looks At Marriage-Strengthening Programs. . ., Deseret News
Watch Segment 1: The Forever Initiative

4. 5 Reasons Why People Are Getting Married Later And Later In Life, Business Insider
Far more people are living together.   
People also live alone more and for longer periods.
There are fewer "shotgun" marriages. 
More people go to college. 
People have smaller families. 

5. Marriage As A 'Luxury Good': The Class Divide In Who Gets Married And Divorced, NBC News
“We’re setting a higher bar for marriage today,” Wilcox said. “That bar is not easily met for working class and poor women and men.”

6. Divorce Is Good And Other Myths: Column, USA Today
To overcome problems, both partners must want to stay married; the hitch is that our non-judgmental culture greases their paths out the door instead of encouraging deep introspection.

7. Get Together For The Kids, VOX: Research-Based Policy Analysis and Commentary from Leading Economists (EU)
Marriage is the commitment mechanism that supports high levels of investment in children and is hence more valuable for parents adopting a high-investment strategy for their children.

For more, see here.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of October 6, 2013

1. Happy Marriage May Depend on Your Genes, CBSNews
A UC Berkley and Northwestern University study found that people who have a certain gene variant, known as the HTTLPR allele, were more likely either to be extremely happy or extremely miserable in their relationships.

2. Janet Yellen’s Husband on Men, Marriage, and Fatherhood, National Review Online
In other words, men who get and stay married earn markedly more than unmarried men from similar backgrounds because marriage makes men work harder, more strategically, and with greater success.

3. How America's Marriage Crisis Makes Income Inequality So Much Worse, The Atlantic
In a strange twist, marriage has recently become a capstone for the privileged class. The decline of marriage, to the extent that we're seeing it, is happening almost exclusively among the poor.

4. What Do You Call the Person You Are Probably Never Going to Marry? Your Fiancé, Slate
But since many can’t afford that fancy wedding and don’t want to go “downtown”—a term women in the book use to describe a marriage on the cheap—they just stay engaged.

5. Married Cancer Patients Are More Likely to Survive, USA Today
Married people with cancer were 20% less likely to die from their disease, compared to people who are separated, divorced, widowed or never married, according to study published online Monday in the Journal of Clinical Oncology.

6. Marriage The Secret to Good Health, Study Finds, Telegraph
[T]he researchers concluded that couples who spoke of planning specific activities strengthen their marriage – such as so-called “date nights” – appeared not only to have stronger relationships but also better health on average.

7. Will Getting Divorced Make Me Ill?, The Guardian
A report in the Journal of Men's Health lays out the evidence that divorced men have more health problems than their married counterparts: more heart attacks, high blood pressure and strokes, more cancer and even colds.

For more, see here.

Monday, October 7, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of September 29, 2013

1. Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives, Columbia University Press
Contributors describe what happens to brains and bodies when women become mothers and men become fathers; whether the stakes are the same or different for each sex; . . .

2. Cohabitation and the Uneven Retreat from Marriage in the U.S., 1950-2010, EconPapers
Marriage is the commitment mechanism that supports high levels of investment in children and is hence more valuable for parents adopting a high-investment strategy for their children.

3. Baumgardner: Belief in Marriage is Key to Success, Times Free Press
The median length of marriage today is eight years. Three out of four people say that marriage isn’t about family, it’s about me.

4. Executive Summary: The World Family Map 2013, Child Trends
The inaugural World Family Map essay concludes by noting the anomaly of the increasing fragility of two-parent families in most middle- and high-income countries even as the evidence shows that such households give children a hand up in excelling educationally.

5. The Strongest Relationships, Maybe I Do: Modern Marriage and the Pursuit of Happiness
Couples who gratify each other’s sexual needs are 65 per cent more likely to be satisfied in their pairing than those who don’t, says a 2011 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.

6. As the Middle Class Morphs, So Does the Idea of Marriage, Bridge
“If they weren’t able to save $5,000 for a wedding, they believed it was out of reach,” Smock said. “They talked about how marriage represented buying a house, basically having a lawn and picket fence. …They would say, ‘I don’t want to just go downtown or to the justice of the peace.'"

7. A Healthy Marriage, a Healthy Life? UNL Professor's Study Bolsters Connection, Omaha.com
The research seems to back up two other recent studies: one that showed married people are more likely to survive cancer, and another that indicated married people, both men and women, have better chances of surviving a heart attack and having a long, healthy life.

For more, see here.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Monday, September 23, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of September 15, 2013

1. Remarriage Rate Declining As More Opt For Cohabitation, USA Today
Just 29 of every 1,000 divorced or widowed Americans had remarried as of 2011, down from 50 per 1,000 in 1990. 
 
2. Remarriage Issues Very Different from First Marriages, USA Today
She discusses challenges in remarriage and the forces that make the new partner an "outsider," from children and parenting tasks that put the couple at odds to the uniting of disparate family cultures.
 
3. Interracial Couples Increasingly Common, Though Many Aren't Marrying, Los Angeles Times
Married or unmarried, interracial couples were more than twice as common in 2012 than in 2000, U.S. Census Bureau data show.

4. Marriage 'No Longer the Foundation Stone of Family Life', The Telegraph
When asked how whether or not people who want to have children “ought to get married” seven out of 10 people agreed in 1989. Last year only four out of 10 people agreed with the idea.

5. Yelling Could Be as Harmful as Hitting Children, New Study Shows, Deseret News
"You feel a lot more responsible for your behavior when you're being corrected by someone you respect and admire. Anything you do to berate or shame a kid erodes that power you have."

6. Don't Waste Money on Your Wedding!, CNN Matrimony
Pick your top three priorities: dress, flowers, food, cake, champagne, music, favors or guest gifts, venue, decor, printed items, photography, videography, reception, transportation, drinks or honeymoon. (Wieber notes that grooms always choose the honeymoon, so brides are really picking one, and then the couple is picking one jointly.)

7. Viral Marriage Advice from Divorced Man: Experts Examine His Tips, LiveScience
"That mindfulness of falling in love again and again, continuing to grow with your partner and fall in love with who they've become. That's what keeps the relationship dynamic."

For more, see here.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Monday, September 9, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of September 1, 2013

1. Failed Marriages, Fractured Minds, The Family in America: New Research
. . . [I]ndividuals who have suffered “divorce or job loss are up to 3 times more likely to develop a major depressive disorder than those without such event.”

3. Too Many Points of Contact, UK Marriage Newsletter
A survey of 24,000 married people found that using more than five channels (such as social media, texting, instant messaging, etc.) to communicate with your partner actually decreases relationship satisfaction.

3. Study Finds More Divorce After Longer Deployment, The San-Diego Union Tribune
Among those who married before the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks launched an era of combat, a 12-month war zone deployment increased the risk of divorce within three years of marriage by 28 percent.

4. When Women Outnumber Men on Campus: What It Means for Marriage, The Globe and Mail
The growing gender gap in education alone is not responsible [for] falling marriage rates, but it has worked to disenfranchise less-educated women from the marriage market excluding them, and their children, from the economic privileges that go hand in hand with marriage.

5. Divorces in Iowa Lowest Since 1968, Quad-City Times
“Family research shows that when there is financial hardship — and this is society-wide because of the recession — people just tend to maintain the status quo. . ."

6. Task Force Issues Recommendations for Reducing Childhood Poverty, Kansas Health Institute
". . . Government must be mindful of programs and policies that result in keeping individuals in poverty by disincentivizing full-time employment and marriage or incentivizing out-of-wedlock childbirths.”

7. Married Couples, Don't Forget to Date, CNN Parents
"Be disciplined about getting a sitter on a regular basis and taking time for just the two of you outside the home," says Dr. Seth, "and don't be shy about returning to some of the favorite places you used to go as a couple before kids."

For more, see here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of August 25, 2013

1. Marriage Lessons: Divorced Man's Top 20 Things to Do Differently, Herald Sun
Posted in late July, Rogers' frank and self-effacing list of marriage dos and don'ts has been shared and reshared by more than 350,000 people around the world, with more than 10,000 likes and hundreds of positive comments.

2. Is Forever Feasible, The Huffington Post
Many young people today begin to run off the road when they get the crucial success sequence wrong (get an education, then get married, then have children). Children whose parents have not followed this life course sequence are, on average, at much greater risk for poverty and poorer outcomes.

3. Children and Divorce: 'I Just Want to Know Why They Broke Up,' The Guardian
"You get the feeling in so many cases that it was easier to pack their bags and split up than to sit down and have a conversation," he says. And the big problem with that is, so many questions are left unanswered for the children at the centre of the split.

4. Keeping Marriage Going Strong Into Your Golden Years, Courier Journal
Individuals can remedy this by doing more things on their own, whether spending time apart with friends or engaging in hobby time without your spouse. . . Brief periods of separation can make the time married couples do spend together feel more meaningful.

5. Why Marriage is (Still) a Vital Pathway to Independence, National Fatherhood Initiative
What parents often neglect, however, is to send a clear message about the importance of marriage—not only its importance as the ideal situation in which to raise children, but how vital it is to parents’ and their children’s eventual independence from one another.   

6. Reduce Childhood Trauma & Adult Health Problems By Teaching Healthy Relationship Skills to Parents, Pioneer Pitch Day
This new approach of teaching at-risk parents the skills necessary to form and sustain long-term, stable romantic relationships to prevent childhood trauma is a primary prevention approach with much potential.

7. The Health Benefits of Gratitude, Meghan Telpner Nutritionista
A wide cross-section research shows that people who feel more appreciated by their partners are more likely to stay committed. So don’t forget to say thank you to your sweetie for doing the dishes, or the laundry, or packing you a delicious lunch.

For more, see here.

Monday, August 26, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of August 18, 2013

1. Relationship Footprint [Visual], Fatherhood Channel
How deep is your relationship footprint? [Click on visual]

2. Money To Matrimony: Talking About The Black Experience, National Public Radio
[T]hey make their own money, they live their own life, they own their own home. They don't necessarily see where you need a man for that, but what they do need a man for is for the companionship, for the partnership, for the fact that they might want a family. So that was an interesting aspect of the survey to me.

3. Has Marriage Gotten Too Expensive?, The Washington Post
“They found that as the American workforce and the American marriage have destabilized over the past half-century, marriage has become an increasingly inaccessible option for working-class Americans. . ."

4. The Soft Break-Up, Sliding vs. Deciding
As is so often the case, technology brings a vast number of options but this also makes choices more important (and more difficult). Friends are great to have, but a gallery of past loves is a pretty complicated audience for a new stage of life.

5. Marriage Advice: If You Remarry, Make Sure It Is For The Right Reason -- Love, News-Sentinel
Marrying to escape a bad situation or a boring life is “a terrible basis for marriage.” The Parrotts describe this as “perhaps the most damaging motivation for remarriage.” Strong marriages are based on loving bonds that pull people together, not on an effort to escape something else.

6. HRC Marriage and Children, Healthy Relationships California
“[I]ncreasing marital stability to the same level as in 1980 is associated with a decline of nearly one- half million children suspended from school, about two hundred thousand fewer children engaging in delinquency or violence, a quarter of a million fewer children receiving therapy, about a quarter of a million fewer smokers, about 80,000 fewer children thinking about suicide, and about 28,000 fewer children attempting suicide.”

7. Is Marriage Becoming A Status Symbol in America, The Week
Their findings suggest that instead of a major moral or cultural shift (like growing acceptance of unmarried couples living together), it might be a general lack of job security that is the big dissuader. Today, there are fewer stable, well-paying jobs for those without a college degree than in the past — take manufacturing or union jobs, for an example. 

For more, see here.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of August 11, 2013

1. I Do ... Cost a Lot: Weddings By The Numbers, CNN
$28,427: Average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2012, according to data from the 2013 Real Weddings Survey by TheKnot.com of 75,000 brides.

2. Marriage Is the New Middle-Class Luxury Item, Slate
Many of the working-class Americans interviewed by Silva and Corse are now too concerned with maintaining their “own survival” to “imagine being able to provide materially and emotionally for others.”

3. Marriage Beyond Reach of Many Working-class Americans, MyFoxWasau
Job insecurity and uncertainty about the future may be a key part of what's keeping many working-class Americans from getting or staying married, a new study suggests.

4. Family And Religion Play A Critical Role In Economic Mobility, Business Insider
"For instance, high upward mobility areas tend to have higher fractions of religious individuals and fewer children raised by single parents," the researchers write. "Each of these correlations remained strong even after controlling for measures of tax expenditures."

5. 'Hookup Culture' Isn't Real, The Atlantic Wire
77 percent of today's students said they had a regular partner or spouse, while 85 percent said the same in the earlier generation. Monto attributes this slight decline to the "change in age of marriage."

6. Your Siblings Are Saving Your Marriage, Slate
While the difference between being an only child and one kid out of two or three is not enormous, says study co-author Doug Downey, “when you compare children from large families to those with only one child, there is a meaningful gap in the probability of divorce.”

7. The Goal, Children's Hope for Family Act
Recent studies offer conclusive evidence that about one third of couples entering the divorce process report an interest in reconciliation.

For more, see here.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of August 4, 2013

1. What are the Secrets to a Happy Life?, University of California, Berkeley
In short, it was a history of warm intimate relationships—and the ability to foster them in maturity—that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men’s lives.

2. Mom Wants You Married? So Does the State, The New York Times
But in South Korea, fretful about plummeting birthrates but still tied to conservative ideas about matchmaking, solving the difficulties of the lovelorn has become something of a national priority.

3. Slicing ‘Breadwinner Moms’ Headlines, Charlotte Observer
Or, how different the reaction if the pitch had been that 25 percent of households with children under 18 are supported by a single mother. . . Especially considering that in these single-mother homes, the median income is $23,000 and that 44 percent are never-married moms.

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/07/31/4204208/slicing-breadwinner-moms-headlines.html#storylink=cpy

4. Marriage and Minorities, The New York Times
“Unmarried couples in which the father has been incarcerated are 37 percent less likely to be married one year after the child’s birth than similar couples in which the father has never been incarcerated.”

5. Most in U.S. Want Marriage, but Its Importance Has Dropped, Gallup Economy
Although most Americans are married or would like to get married, less than two-thirds consider it very or somewhat important for a couple to marry if the two want to spend the rest of their lives together or when they want to have a child together. 

6. One in Three U. S. Youths Report Being Victims of Dating Violence, Science Daily
"Both boys and girls who engaged in high rates of bullying toward other students at the start of the study were seven times more likely to report being physically violent in dating relationships four years later."

Korea’s government-funded dating
7. Hiller Law Discusses Marriage Boosters with Good Morning America, PR.com
Korea’s government-funded dating
Korea’s government-funded dating
Korea’s government-funded dating
Korea’s government-funded dating
“We want marriages to last. I encourage all couples to create agreements that include a plan to learn and maintain relationship skills,” said Hiller. “I am delighted when clients call and tell me the postnuptial agreement we created saved their marriage. . ."

For more, see here.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of July 28, 2013

1. In Climbing Income Ladder, Location Matters, The New York Times
“Where you grow up matters,” said Nathaniel Hendren, a Harvard economist and one of the study’s authors. “There is tremendous variation across the U.S. in the extent to which kids can rise out of poverty.”

One reader's analysis: What Do These Maps Prove? Not What You Might Think

2. Marriage May Calm a Criminal Impulse in Men, Pacific Standard
[T]he men who divorced from their wives had an increase of 18 percent in their conviction rate from before the divorce, and the men who stayed married had a decrease of 80 percent in their conviction rate.

3. The Good Dad: The Transformative Power of Fatherhood for Men and Children, The Heritage Foundation
Drawing on his new book, Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives (Columbia, 2013), W. Bradford Wilcox will detail the ways in which fatherhood is a transformative experience for men, both biologically and socially.

4. Traditional Fatherhood Still Essential, The American Spectator
Fathers generally have firmer discipline tactics than mothers, and are more likely to encourage their children to embrace challenges. Boys with engaged fathers are less likely to be violent or delinquent, while girls are less likely to become sexually active or pregnant while teenagers.

5. Expert: Decline of Marriage Leads to Bad Outcomes for Children, Adults, The Washington Free Beacon
Men in residential marriages, on average, have lower levels of testosterone—which in high amounts is linked to aggression and infidelity—earn more than their counterparts without children, and are less likely to be depressed.

6. 4 Reasons Being Happily Married Could Make You A Better CEO, Forbes
In fact, researchers. . . found that non-married women have a 50% higher mortality rate than married women while non-married men have a remarkable 250% higher mortality rate than married men.

7. The Four Things That Kill a Relationship Stone Dead, PsychBlog
Amongst the factors he identified, four have stood out, time and time again. When Gottman sees a couple's communication overrun with these, the chances are they will divorce in an average of around six years from their marriage.

For more, see here.

Monday, July 29, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of July 21, 2013

1. Marriage Rate Lowest in a Century, Bowling Green State University
That equals roughly 31 marriages per 1,000 unmarried women. Compare that to 1920, when the marriage rate was a staggering 92.3.

2. Special Forces' Marriages on Shaky Ground, Survey Shows, USA Today
Marriages among many of the nation's elite troops — Navy SEALs, Green Berets, Rangers and others — are so damaged after years of war that one in five commandos say that if given the chance, they would have married someone else or not at all.

3. The Experts: Getting Married? Read These Financial Tips, The Wall Street Journal 
[D]raft our financial dream plan together. How many kids did we want? How often and where would we vacation? How would we handle the fact that one of us had enough for a small down payment on our first house, and the other had no savings at all?

4. Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too, The New York Times
But Elizabeth A. Armstrong, a sociologist at the University of Michigan who studies young women’s sexuality, said that women at elite universities were choosing hookups because they saw relationships as too demanding and potentially too distracting from their goals.

5. Unmarried Cheating: Stepping Out in Unmarried, Serious Romantic Relationship, Sliding vs. Deciding
The headline is that overall relationship quality mattered most in explaining who, in unmarried romantic relationships, was most likely to step out on their partner. . . Contrary to what you might have guessed, sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction with the partner were not associated with cheating.

6. Chart of the Week: Marriage Guards Children Against Poverty, The Heritage Foundation
“We know the statistics—that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of schools, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison,” then-Senator Obama stated in Chicago just a few months before the 2008 presidential election.

7. Power Move: ‘From Fatherless to Fatherhood’ to Air on Oprah Winfrey Network, Atlanta Blackstar
"It provides a glimpse into the lives and perspectives of those from a Hollywood film executive to a mother of six, around the meaning and value of quality manhood and fatherhood."

For more, see here.

Monday, July 22, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of July 7, 2013

1. How The 'Fatherless Sons' Epidemic Extends To Children Whose Dads Are Present (Oprah VIDEO), The Huffington Post

2. When Couples Cooperate Well, Men Follow Women’s Emotions While Women Regulate, The Washington Post
Researchers from the University of Arizona found that, for couples who cooperate well, men tend to mimic their partner’s mood while women try to regulate their partner’s emotions.

3. Happily Married Means a Healthier Ever After, Science Daily
"[T]his study also shows happy marriages have a preventative component that keeps you in good health over the years."

4. Men and Women Often Expect Different Things When They Move In Together, The Atlantic
Moreover, a large minority (41 percent) of men report that they are not "completely committed" to their live-in girlfriends.

5. Marriage Advice: There Is Truth In The Saying, ‘Love Is Blind’, News-Sentinel
[W]hen we get close to someone and begin to like them, there is reduced activity in the areas of the brain associated with critical social assessment and in the areas necessary for making negative judgments.

6. The Terrible Toll Of Making Divorce Easier: Children Are More Likely To Be Violent, Take Drugs And Have Underage Sex, The Daily Mail
The research revealed the legacy of broken homes appears to weigh more heavily than any other factor, as among the worst affected group -- those with four or more ACEs [adverse childhood experiences] -- two thirds had seen their parents go their separate ways, compared with an average of 24 per cent. 

7. Facilitating Forever, Coalition for Divorce Reform
Scholars and therapists know a lot about how to form and sustain. . . healthy relationships. We need to get that knowledge out of academia’s ivory towers and clinician’s wood-paneled offices to the public.

For more, see here.

Monday, July 8, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of June 30, 2013

I am out of town on vacation. No M.Guy Tweet this week.

For the latest marriage news, see here.

Monday, July 1, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of June 23, 2013

1. The Perils of Giving Advice, The Wall Street Journal
[B]oth husbands and wives feel lower marital satisfaction when they are given too much advice from a spouse, as opposed to too little. And—surprise!—unsolicited advice is the most damaging kind.

2. Relationships in Later Life and Why They Matter, Huffington Post
91% of people in couples said their relationship with their partner was the most important thing for a happy retirement.

3. The Disestablishment of Marriage, The New York Times
The rising age of marriage, combined with the increase in divorce and cohabitation since the 1960s, means that Americans spend a longer period of their adult lives outside marriage than ever before.

4. With Stress Down and Happiness Up, Old Age Can Be the Time of Your Life, The Washington Post
Satisfaction with social relationships grows. Seniors typically have a smaller but closer circle of friends than younger adults, research shows. That’s because older people tend to focus on close friends and family members who are important for their emotional bonds.

5. SIMMONS: Cosby Gets Serious about Fatherhood, The Washington Post
“A father. . . who is there for his children, who is there with the mother, completes the love package for the child,” Mr. Cosby said. “[A son] sees that mom is happy, and he can emulate that, carry that love to his own children.

6. The Forever Initiative, The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center
While the causes of family instability are many and deep, Hawkins argues that this public policy agenda of educational initiatives can make more young people today better drivers of their romantic relationships, more competent at avoiding destructive detours, and more capable of achieving their marital aspirations and destinations.

7. Dads Who Bond With Kids Help Keep Marriage Strong, WebMD
Doing household chores and being engaged with the children seem to be important ways for husbands to connect with their wives, and that connection is related to better relationships, Galovan explained.

For more, see here.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of June 16, 2013

1. The New American Father, Pew Research: Social and Demographic Trends
A new survey by the Pew Research Center finds that Americans expect dad to be more of a moral teacher and emotional comforter than a breadwinner or disciplinarian.

2. Parents and Children, Maybe I Do: Modern Marriage and the Pursuit of Happiness
“Security is the one thing (children) need and if there is that security of the parental relationship, that’s about the best gift those kids can be given,” he said.

3. Daddy’s Home, Slate
By contrast, men who don’t live with their children, either because they never married the mother in the first place, or got divorced, often don’t look much different than childless men. Three findings illustrate the point:. . .

4. The Distinct, Positive Impact of a Good Dad, The Atlantic
But there are at least four ways, spelled out in my new book, Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives (co-edited with Kathleen Kovner Kline), that today's dads tend to make distinctive contributions to their children's lives. . . 

5. Marriage Rate May Be Low, But More Weddings Predicted, USA Today
Cultural changes about whether and when to marry, the fact that two-thirds of first marriages are preceded by cohabitation and the recession's financial fallout — including unemployment and underemployment — fueled the wedding decline.

6. Five-Year Study Documents The Positive Impact Of Relationship And Marriage Education Programs In California, YahooNews
[Outcome 1 of 5] Both men and women reported positive impacts from RME attendance, with nearly three-quarters (74%) of participants experiencing increases in problem-solving abilities.

7. Marriage, the Job: The Hard Work in ‘Before Midnight,’ Amour’ and Other Films and Shows, The New York Times
Ben Affleck caught some flak earlier this year when, in the course of his Oscar-night thank-yous, in front of a billion of his closest friends, he referred to his marriage to Jennifer Garner as “work.” 

For more, see here.

Monday, June 17, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of June 9, 2013

1. Parental Relationships and Obesity in Children, The British Psychological Society
[W]hile children in a traditional two-parent married household have a 17 per cent obesity rate, this climbs to 31 per cent for young people living with cohabiting parents.

2. Unequal, Unfair, and Unhappy: The 3 Biggest Myths About Marriage Today, The Atlantic
Most husbands and wives make about equal total contributions to the paid and unpaid work needed to sustain a family, judge their marriages to be fair, and are happily married.

3. A Million Children Grow Up Without Fathers, Report Warn, The Independent
Since 1996, the number of people cohabiting has doubled to nearly six million, but cohabiting parents are three times more likely to separate by the time a child is five than married couples. 

4. Paper: Trends in Cohabitation, 1987-2010, National Council on Family Relations
The percentage of women ages 19-44 who have ever cohabited has increased by 82% over the past 23 years. In 1987, one-third of women had ever cohabited, and in 2009-2010, three-fifths (60%) had ever cohabited.

5. The Gay People Against Gay Marriage, BBC
But while favourable rulings will spark celebrations among pro-marriage supporters across the US, some gay men and women will instead see it as a victory for a patriarchal institution that bears no historical relevance to them.

6. The Sheer Complexity of Love, Positive Psychology News Daily
Fredrickson separates love as a frequent passing experience from commitment, truth, and trust. Commitment she sees as a special bond, an outcome of love. Love is fleeting, but on the upside, love is forever renewable.

7. Unmarried, With Children, Arizona Daily Sun
"Women and men who have children outside of marriage are younger on average, have less education, and have lower income than married parents," according to researchers at the U.S. Census.

For more, see here.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of June 2, 2013

1. Breadwinning Wives and Nervous Husbands, The New York Times
[T]raditional views of gender identity, particularly the view that the right and proper role of the husband is to make more money than the wife, are affecting choices of whom to marry, how much to work, and even whether to stay married.

2. Marriage Advice: Sharing a Hobby is Good for Your Relationship, The Wall Street Journal
New experiences also can activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with powerful neurochemicals related to pleasure and bonding—the same circuits triggered when a person first falls in love.

3. More Satisfaction, Less Divorce for People Who Meet Spouses Online, TIME
When it comes to playing Cupid, it’s still not clear whether online dating ultimately makes better matches. But given the large number of people who meet their mates this way, the good news is that at least it doesn’t seem to make matters any worse.

4. Uncoupling the Hookup Culture, The Sacramento Bee
Harvard sophomore Lisa Mogilanski put it this way: "Hookup culture is an unnavigable mush of vague intentions and desires. ... We can try to dress it up as being freeing or equalizing the genders, but I fear it only leaves us equally impoverished."

5. Kathleen Parker: ‘Father’ is the New F-Word, The Wichita Eagle
Contrary to the Hollywood version of single motherhood, a trend that began with Murphy Brown more than 20 years ago, single mothers are more likely to be younger, black or Hispanic, and less educated, according to Pew, and they have a median family income of $23,000.

Read more here: http://www.kansas.com/2013/06/04/2830901/kathleen-parker-father-is-the.html#emlnl=Morning_Headlines_Newsletter#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.kansas.com/2013/06/04/2830901/kathleen-parker-father-is-the.html#emlnl=Morning_Headlines_Newsletter#storylink=cpy

6. Marriage Research: Survey Finds Marriage More Important to Happiness than Salary, Owning a Home, The Huffington Post 
The U.K.'s Office of National Statistics recently surveyed 165,000 British people. . . They found that being married is 20 times more important to a person's happiness than their earnings and 13 times more important than owning a home.

7. Myths about Relationships, Leadership
Myth: A good relationship means that you don’t have to work at it.
Fact: “The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work. . ." [O]ur culture, education system and parenting styles don’t prepare us for the fact that even good relationships take effort.


Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/05/30/5457975/uncoupling-the-hookup-culture.html#storylink=cpy
For more, see here.

Friday, June 7, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of May 26, 2013

1. (Video) Oprah on Fatherhood & the Mistakes Single Moms Make, National Fatherhood Initiative
"It's difficult to be what you don't see. . . what kind of father do you want for your son? What kind of father do you want your son to be?"

2. Obama Opens Up About His Father's Absence, The Washington Post
“. . . one of the biggest challenges – I grew up without a father,” he said. . . I turned out okay,” he said. “But at the same time, I wish I had had a father who was around and involved.”

3. Couples' Thoughts During Disagreements Affect Relationship Satisfaction, Science Daily
"Among happy couples, when one partner is thinking a lot about disagreement or anger, the other instead may be thinking about how to understand his or her partner or how to resolve the conflict."

4. Will You Marry Me (And My Student Loan Debt)?, Courier Journal
He even recommends planning "money dates in addition to movie dates" to keep the marriage on a financial track. Couples need to understand how much debt they owe and plan a schedule of how they're going to make payments.

5. Almost No Couples With Children Who Stay Unmarried Stay Together, Study Claims, The Daily Telegraph
The report, which analyses figures from the Office for National Statistics, found that 93 per cent of couples whose relationships are still intact by the time their child is a teenager are married.

6. Battling Cancer Together, The New York Times
Nobody Can Read Minds Like Ms. Bantug, patients often expect their partners to know how they are feeling and what they may want, then resent it when unexpressed needs are not met.

7. The Lethality of Loneliness, New Republic
And as they delve deeper into the workings of cells and nerves, they are confirming that loneliness is as monstrous as Fromm-Reichmann said it was. It has now been linked with a wide array of bodily ailments as well as the old mental ones.

For more, see here.  

Friday, May 31, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of May 19, 2013

1. Small Acts, Big Love, The Wall Street Journal
"It's not just making people feel good," says Harry T. Reis, a University of Rochester professor of psychology. "It's a way of communicating to the other person that you understand what they are all about and that you appreciate and care for them."

2. The Connection Between Unemployment and Unmarried Parents, The Atlantic
From 57 percent unmarried among those who didn't finish high school to just nine percent among those who have graduated college.

3. Recession Dragged Down Birth Rates for Less-educated Women, Los Angeles Times
Between 2008 and 2011, birthrates fell 13% among women who hadn’t finished high school – nearly twice as much as for women who had earned bachelor’s degrees or more, Pew found.

4. How to Tell if a Couple Will Get Divorced, The Australian News
[T]hey noticed that there were four behaviours in particular that could predict which couples would divorce down the line. With 93 per cent accuracy. . . Contempt. . . Criticism. . . Defensiveness. . . and Stonewalling. . .

5. The Feminist, Pro-Father, and Pro-Child Case against No-Fault Divorce, The Witherspoon Institute
Yet twenty-seven years later, even Friedan admitted, “I think we made a mistake with no fault divorce,” recognizing that no-fault divorce had led to “unintended consequences” that adversely affected women.

6. Study Proves Impact of Prayer on Relationships, Charisma News
Praying for a romantic partner or close friend can lead to more cooperative and forgiving behavior toward the partner, according to a new study co-authored by a Florida State University (FSU) researcher.

7. Keynote Presentation 3, The International Commission on Couple and Family Relations
Carolyn and Phil Cowan will describe an approach to strengthening couple and parent-child relationships by working with parents as couples.

For more, see here.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The M.Guy Tweet, Week of May 5, 2013

1. Single Motherhood in U.S. Increases Sharply, The Washington Post
More than six out of 10 women who give birth in their early 20s are unmarried, the Census Bureau said Wednesday in a report that shows sharp discrepancies in single mothers related to income, education and race.

2. Internet Strengthens Institution of Marriage, The Wall Street Journal
New research that says thanks to the Internet, marriage rates among young people, which have been declining for years, are 15% to 30% higher than they would be without the Web.

3. Is the Way We Divorce in America About to Change, The Huffington Post
[A]ll couples would take be required to complete courses on improving their communication skills and conflict resolution. Those with minor children would also be expected to take a four-hour class on the impact of divorce on children. . . Statutory protection for victims of domestic violence would remain untouched. 

4. Young Adults in the Parental Home and the Great Recession, The National Center for Family and Marriage Research
Young adults living independently enjoyed lower unemployment rates (pre- and post-recession) than their coresiding peers regardless of age or sex. . . Young adults living independently had 91% higher median earnings in 2011 than their peers living in a parent's home ($24,000 vs. $9,000, not shown).

5. Married Couples Need the Right Tools to Stay Happily Married, The Standard Examiner
Marriage education is a class with larger groups of participants, whereas marital therapy is typically done with the couple and a therapist. Marriage and relationship education teaches skills like healthy communication, conflict resolution, understanding expectations/roles, and strategies to maintain higher levels of commitment.

6. Why Unemployment Doesn't Stop People From Having Babies, The Atlantic
"We all want to leave behind a legacy - it's part of our duty as a species. But in our post industrial society, we now have two choices for that. Create progeny or create something (tangible or intangible) that will last beyond one's lifetime - whether that's art, fiction, science, engineering, technology, any form of manipulating land, etc. The luckiest people find a way to do both." [From the "Comments" section].

7. Rising Trend of Births Outside Marriage, Population Reference Bureau
There are eight EU member countries where half or more of births are nonmarital: Belgium, Bulgaria, Estonia, France, Iceland, Slovenia, Norway, and Sweden.

For more, see here.